10 Commandments Of Marriage

9 Apr

1st Commandment

Marriages are made in heaven. But again, so are lightning and thunder.

2nd Commandment

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

3rd Commandment

Marriage is grand, divorce is at least 100 grands!

4th Commandment

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, both of them speak and the neighbours listen.

5th Commandment

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you are be sure of one thing: either the car or the wife is new.

6th Commandment

Marriage is when a man and a woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

7th Commandment

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

8th Commandment

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

9th Commandment

Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding, economical, and a considerate lover. But the law allows only one husband.

10th Commandment

Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished.

Bonus Commandment

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, “It really works!”

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