I received these jokes a while back on my email and thought that I should share them on Orinity. As a student whose major is marketing, they are pretty funny. Enjoy!

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” – That is Direct Marketing
2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you and says: “He’s very rich. Marry him.” – That’s Advertising
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.” – That’s Telemarketing
4. You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: “By the way, I’m rich. Will you marry me?” – That’s Public Relations
5. You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: “You are very rich! Can you marry me?” – That’s Brand Recognition
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. – That’s Customer Feedback
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” Then she introduces you to her husband. – That’s the demand and supply gap
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she goes with him – That is the competition eating into your market share
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: “I’m rich, marry me!” your wife arrives. – That’s restriction for entering new markets

I saw the first of Microsoft’s advertising campaign to strike back at Apple’s ‘Mac vs PC’ campaign. After reading that Microsoft spent $300 million on the ad campaign and watching the video on Youtube. I can only say, ‘BULLSHIT!’ It will be hard to get people to talk about Windows when they are showing such lousy advertisements. Why don’t Microsoft use the $300 as rebate to their customers instead? I am pretty sure that it will be a more welcomed move than an advertisement featuring Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld. The quality is just not there.

Take a look for yourself. I can only tell you that it sucks. Big time!

Shopping can be fun, but sometimes you can’t find exactly what you’re looking for at the stores in your area, or sometimes they didn’t have your size in that one perfect item. Enter the World Wide Web. For years, the Internet has been a great place to shop, especially for those who don’t have the time to go from store to store looking for that perfect item. Below, you will find a list of things to look for when shopping online.

1. Organization and Presentation of the Site
First impressions are usually correct, and you can tell what kind of company you are dealing with the moment you take a look at their homepage. Are items easy to locate? Is the website easy to navigate? Chances are if the site is properly maintained and things are in order, you should have no problems if you decide to buy something. If the opposite is true, you may want to look somewhere else.

2. Reputation
If you plan on spending your money with someone, you want to know that they stand behind their products and services. What is their return policy? Will they be able to meet your needs in a timely fashion? If they encounter problems, how do they deal with them? If you are unsure, run a search on their company name to see what previous customers have experienced. The results may help you to make a more-informed decision.

3. Check Competitors for Price and Availability
For some, shopping is all about finding the best deal. For others, it’s about finding the right size. Make sure you explore all of your options when shopping online. Sometimes if you look for a great deal, it’s only for certain sizes. Other online retailers will match their competitors’ prices. Take a look around when you find something you like, and make sure you are getting the best deal.

4. Shipping Needs
Many online stores offer their customers free shipping. If your needs are more specific, however, look into whether or not they are able to deliver the products you need, especially when ordering internationally. Again, check out forums where customers have discussed their experiences before you buy. Sometime customs issues prevent your items from being delivered in a timely fashion, and there is nothing worse than waiting on something that you’ve already paid for to arrive.

5. Feedback and Communication
This is so important, and again you must turn to the web for other people’s impressions on the services they have received from online stores. If there is clear communication, any issues should be able to be resolved pretty quickly. If other past customers have experienced a lag in communication, however, steer clear of these businesses. It is hard to get your money back once it has been transmitted through cyberspace.

This post was guest written and contributed by Heather Johnson, who writes on the subject of green shopping. She invites your feedback at heatherjohnson2323[@]gmail.com.

With Apple going to release the usual upgrades for their products this coming September, there are many rumours that the new Macbook will not be only an upgrade in specifications. Rather, it will be an overhaul with the introduction of a glass trackpad and other design changes. It is said that the new Macbook will be made out of one piece of aluminum and thinner than the current Macbook and Macbook Pro series. Most websites place the release date during the last week of September. Here’s a video but I doubt Macbook Touch is coming this soon. It will be too much of an overhaul but it’s Apple. If they managed to pull it off, I can see more people jumping onto the Mac wagon with Vista not performing that well.

My country, Singapore, has a Electronic Road Pricing (ERP) scheme that functions like a toll collection system when vehicles enter designated areas. Over the course of the past few months, we have seen the ERP rates increased and ERP gantries sprouting up here and there. The cost of building each gantry is reported at S$1.5 million, a 50% increase of the previous cost of S$1 million. The ERP scheme was implemented to supposedly regulate traffic along roads with heavy traffic and also to curb car ownership. However, I beg to differ. Here’s some images circulating around the Internet. The watermark reads ‘LemonGraphic.sg’, so kudos to the guys at LemonGraphic.sg. They dipicted the situation quite well.

More information on the ERP system can be found on Wikipedia. Please note that the images are all meant to be sarcarism directed at our current govenment.