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My country, Singapore, has a Electronic Road Pricing (ERP) scheme that functions like a toll collection system when vehicles enter designated areas. Over the course of the past few months, we have seen the ERP rates increased and ERP gantries sprouting up here and there. The cost of building each gantry is reported at S$1.5 million, a 50% increase of the previous cost of S$1 million. The ERP scheme was implemented to supposedly regulate traffic along roads with heavy traffic and also to curb car ownership. However, I beg to differ. Here’s some images circulating around the Internet. The watermark reads ‘LemonGraphic.sg’, so kudos to the guys at LemonGraphic.sg. They dipicted the situation quite well.

More information on the ERP system can be found on Wikipedia. Please note that the images are all meant to be sarcarism directed at our current govenment.

It’s been a long time since I last did a post and I apologise for that. I have been busy with my examintions and currently on internship until the end of June. However, I just can’t help but to recommend this cheap and rather awesome deal I came to know recently.

Most in Singapore will know of PartyWorld KTV or KBox and recently, Top One KTV. The lesser known will be K-str which I think is rather cheap and value for money. This latest deal is located at Smith Street which is somewhere between Chinatown, Outram and Tanjong Pagar MRT stations. The KTV is called Ten Dollars Family KTV and yes, it is really $10! What you get is a 5 hours KTV session, freeflow of the drinks though you get a smaller range of selection and a bowl of shark fin soup which taste really good when you know you are getting a good deal.

When looking for the place, look up at the neon sign that reads ‘TD Family KTV’. The KTV is located on the 3rd floor of a shophouse. The place is definitely not sleezy and I think find the environment suitable for families. Also, the sound system is pretty good but not top notch. The song selection system is done via remote or the touch screen. Now, that’s really high tech though I am not quite used to the touch screen system.

Do check out the Ten Dollar Club website for the details!

When we were just kids, our mothers always told us to look where we are going. Apparently, a bus driver in Seattle did not get that message all. It doesn’t take a maths genius to know that a 12-foot tall bus will not fit into a 9-foot high tunnel and that’s what the driver tried to do on 17 April. The bus was carrying a high school softball team at that time. The accident resulted in 21 students and coaches being sent to the hospital.

The funny thing is that the bus driver tried to blame it on the GPS unit but it is common sense that a 12-foot bus definitely don’t go into a 9-foot tunnel. It is really fortunate that no one got hurt in the accident. The bus driver is only fined with a $154 fine which I think is way too little for someone who is definitely an idiot. Is he trying to tell us that he will stick to the instructions from the GPS even when there’s clearly no road in front of him? What an ass!

1st Commandment

Marriages are made in heaven. But again, so are lightning and thunder.

2nd Commandment

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

3rd Commandment

Marriage is grand, divorce is at least 100 grands!

4th Commandment

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, both of them speak and the neighbours listen.

5th Commandment

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you are be sure of one thing: either the car or the wife is new.

6th Commandment

Marriage is when a man and a woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

7th Commandment

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

8th Commandment

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

9th Commandment

Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding, economical, and a considerate lover. But the law allows only one husband.

10th Commandment

Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished.

Bonus Commandment

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, “It really works!”

1. Never Walk Without A Document In Your Hands

People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. Whereas people with nothing in their hands look like they are heading for the canteen. People with a newspaper in their hands look like they are heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus, creating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use Computers To Look Busy

Any time you use a computer, it looks like ‘work’ to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they are not bad either. When you get caught by your boss – and you *will* get caught – your best defence is to claim that you are teaching yourself to use new software, thus, saving the company valuable training expenses.

3. Messy Desk

Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we are not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as today’s work; it’s the volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your desk, bury the document you will need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail

Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don’t call you just because they want to give you something for nothing – they call because they want you to work for them. That’s no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they are not there – it looks like you are hardworking and conscientious even though you are a devious weasel.

5. Looking Impatient & Annoyed

Always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6. Leave The Office Late

Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines or storybooks that you have always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past your boss’ room on your way out. Send important emails during unearthly hours (eg. 9.30pm, 7.30am, etc.) and during public holidays.

7. Creative Sighing For Effect

Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

8. Stacking Strategy

It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor (thick computer manuals are the best).

9. Build Vocabulary

Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with your bosses. Remember: They don’t have to understand what you say, but you will sound impressive.

10. Have Two Jackets

If you work in a big open plan office, always leave a spare jacket draped over the back of your seat. This gives the impression that you are still on the premises. The second jacket should be worn when you are swanning around elsewhere.

11. MOST IMPORTANT

Don’t forward this to your boss by mistake!